Sustaining Quality Friendships in this Tech-crazed Times

coffee talk

Do you have hundreds of Facebook friends but very few real friends?  Does a friend’s picture of brunch with your other friends send your day into a funk? Pardon me when I tell you that you s*ck at having friends. But the good news is that you’re not alone on this 😉

Great friendships really are the best thing in life in my opinion. And we all know the best things in life don’t come easy.

Most people, not just Millennials, are terribly hooked into social media. Think about how many pictures you have to take before you find “the right one” to post. Now realize that everyone does that. Your life is just as mundane as theirs is.

Down at Thought Avenue: Speak your mind, I’ve just recently written an article about a prevailing issue concerning most people nowadays, that is: WE CAN’T SEEM TO KEEP OUR FACES OUT OF OUR SMARTPHONES FOR EVEN A MINUTE OR TWO. Simply put: Too much FaceTime and not enough face time.

Categorically, that makes most of us s*ck at having friends. We’re way too deep into being socially available. When you have too many options, your brain gets overloaded and can’t properly weigh options anymore. If you’re buying something and only have three options, you’re more likely to pick the first one. If you’re buying something and have 15 options, you’re likely to pick from the ones at the end. This is why you’re waiting for the last moment to make your plans, and that is why you s*ck at having friends.

Now, you may want to ask, “What (then) is the best “advice” to take from hundreds of advices already available in the WWW?” To that, I intend to tell you just one simple advice (repeatedly given hundreds of times in hundred different ways by hundred different well-meaning people) — Unplug yourself.

Do you realize how much time you waste staring at your phone? Study shows that you get a hit of dopamine every time you log onto your Twitter/Instagram/Facebook, etc. and see those sweet notifications. You’re getting addicted to it. With so much of ourselves available for others to see, we spend more time building up an image of ourselves instead of building our actual selves.

I will not tell you to delete your Facebook account, but, instead, delete your Facebook app. Force yourself to use the browser version of Facebook on your phone or laptop. Why? Because the browser version is s**t. It will make you want to use it less. Some of your social media apps like Twitter, Instagram, etc. you can delete. If you really think hard about it you’ll realize that you (actually) don’t need them. Sure you’ll miss out on the occasional thing that happens, but so what?

And with all your new free time you’ll have a lot of worthwhile things to do. You can spend your time going for a run, writing/reading that book you wanted to get to, and you’ll even have more time to go see your friends and talk with them face to face.

Here’s one nice challenge I am excited for you to try  doing immediately (given you have the time):

Why don’t you text any of your friends, ask if they want to meet for coffee after you’re done reading this post.

When you’re out, don’t bother with your phone unless you know you’re expecting something. Check a text if it comes in, but don’t sit with your friend in a coffee shop while you both look at your phones.

There are a lot of reasons why unplugging yourself is beneficial. When you’re less distracted, you’ve got more time to focus and be a better friend. With less time on social media, you’ll actually feel better. Without your social networks calling you back, you’ll stop pretending that liking pizza (or any stuff, in that matter) is a legitimate personality trait.

Grab somebody close to your heart. Go outside. And bask yourselves into the glory of one of the most beautiful things there are in this world – friendship.


Author: Andrei

The Founder of Thought Avenue:Speak your mind is a novice writer who finds joy and fulfillment in writing. He believes in the saying, “Writers write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect”